There I was. Terrified, sweating, a little shaky, a little sick to my stomach, with no idea on how to proceed. I was surrounded by veteran members of a very good, and well renown, PvP corp, people who have been playing for two or three times as long as I have. And these people, people who I respect and admire for their knowledge and experience, were going to follow me into battle.
As I promised in my last post I took my first fleet out on a roam yesterday. I had never FC'd anything before in my life. My knowledge of ship strengths and weaknesses are limited at best, yet there I was, about to embark on the most interesting and fun two hours of my Eve career.
I decided as this was my first attempt to keep it cheap and only fly T1 frigates. This proved to be a wise decision. The roam itself, by all measurable accounts, wasn't very successful; we lost 7 T1 frigates, and only killed a Thrasher and a Jaguar. Having done the math on the isk war, we lost that slightly as well, though not by much. I'm not going to be talking much about the specifics of the roam much as honestly that would just bore you; instead I'm going to be talking about my feelings and experiences as a first time FC.
Nerves can be a good thing as long as they don't get the best of you. A little amount of nervousness keeps you on your toes, but too much can cripple you. With this in mind, I asked my girlfriend to make me a drink to help calm myself down a bit. She obliged with a Rockstar energy drink and vodka cocktail. This helped me remember everyone knew it was my first time, that it was a video game, and to just go out and have fun.
I started moving the fleet around a few systems looking for targets while our skirmisher scouted for us. Before the fleet started I decided two things that greatly helped me through the experience. Know that your fleet is going to die, a lot; and keep the fleet moving; if you don't know what to do, just warp to the next gate. The first helped me cope when people lost ships because of my mistakes, and the second helped to avoid stagnation. In the end I think the most important of the two was to just keep moving. Inactivity is the surest way to kill any enjoyment, and a great way to get yourself killed. The other good thing that my decision to keep moving provided was a huge reduction in nerves. FCing is like a lot of things, once you get into a groove you stop realizing that you're scared.
Our first kill came shortly after I got us caught by a -FA- gang who outnumbered and out shipped us by about 2 or 3 to 1. On our way back to reship we found a Thrasher, but as we were trickling in he managed to take out a few of us basically solo (including me) before we were able to kill him. Though not the most successful of attacks it was one of the most exciting moments I've had in Eve. To actually be leading a fleet and order an attack and have something die was a feeling I couldn't explain. I'm sure many of you would just laugh at that, but it was a major right of passage for me. Sometimes the simple things are the most rewarding.
On our way back at the end of the roam we got our second kill. We found a solo -FA- Jaguar who had friends on the other side of the system. I decided we might as well go out in a blaze of glory. We managed to kill the Jag just as his friends showed up. Again, it was a great feeling to be in charge of something and have it work out. This particular engagement was much more successful than the first kill. We killed something worth more than what we lost, and that was my goal when deciding to engage. Though we all lost our ships (I think we had 3 left at the time), and two pods, it was a fine way to end the evening.
Something I really enjoyed (and was actually surprised at) was being in charge. I'm not one to second guess other FCs, Just about everyone is more experienced than me. I don't sit there thinking, "what a stupid move," and I'd never say it out loud if I didn't think it. That being said, I never new how much fun it would be to actually be the one making the decisions. We lost ships, and killed ships, directly because of my decisions. I wasn't just another DPS ship in a group of 20, 50, or 500. I wasn't the quiet one in the background trying my best to do my job properly, only speaking up when it's needed. My decisions didn't affect just myself and my target. It was my call; something I truly enjoyed, even if my calls weren't usually very good.
My last post talked about getting out of your comfort zone, and nothing I've done in years has been more outside of mine. For a long time I truly thought I wouldn't be able to do it, and as it was a requirement for me to make Core in Agony, something that genuinely worried me. I'd like to thank everyone who went on the roam for all your helpful advice as well as your understanding with my mistakes. I will definitely be doing it again. I still have a lot to learn, but over time I'm sure I'll learn them.
Mistakes were made, recon reports lost between ear and brain, potential targets passed up, lessons learned, then forgotten, then learned again, and a lot of fun was had.
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