Stuff To Read

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Miner's Paradise

The recent explosion of "Fight Us Maybe?"  has inspired me to create my own Eve parody.  I have no voice talent so I won't sing it for you though, deal with it. 

Miner's Paradise - Parody of Gangster's Paradise (closer to Weird Al's Amish Paradise truthfully)

As I fly through the belt where I harvest my ore
I take a look at my game and realize it's quite a bore.
But that's just perfect for a miner like me,
you know I shun dangerous things like that Artillery.

At 6 O'Clock in the morning I'm bottin' ore
Orca does the boostin' while I look for more, fool.
And I've been minin', refinin', so long that,
even Chribba thinks that my mind is gone.

I'm a man of the trit, I'm into building see
If I mine all my of ore, then I get it for free!
And if I refine all of my ore, and you refine thine
Then tonight we're gonna hotdrop like its 2000 and 9.

We've been spending most our lives livin' in a Miner's Paradise.
Mine Arknor once or twice, livin' in a Miner's Paradise.
Free minerals sure are nice, livin' in a Miner's Paradise.
We sell ore below cost price, livin' in a Miner's Paradise.

A local Goon ganked me in a belt last week
I just went to the forums and I gave him my critique
I really don't care, in fact it's really cool beans
'Cause I'll laughing my ass off, when CCP intervenes.

But I ain't ever ganked a man, even if he deserved it
Me PvP? You know that's unheard of
I never cause trouble, but I got a cool eye
$70 for this? Of course, I'll take five!

So if you come to mine you'll be bored to tears
Haven't even shot a rat in all these decade long years
But we not really weak, so please don't point and stare
We just want the game to be fair.

There's no tank, no speed, no artillery, not a single explosion
whenever local goes up, we just turn tail and run.

We've been spending most our lives livin' in a Miners Paradise.
Mine Bistot once or twice, livin' in a Miners Paradise.
No gankings sure are nice, livin' in a Miners Paradise.
Isk per hour is our vise, livin' in a Miners Paradise.

Fitting out the barge, haulin' lots of ore,
Bought a Hulk on Monday, soon I'll buy another!
Think you're really special?  Think you're really cool?
We'll I'm about a million times a wealthy as you!

I'm the richest miner all the miners want to be like,
On my comp day and night running bots 'till the afterlife!
So don't be ganky, and don't be whiney,
Or else, my brother, I might have to get some merc corps on your hiney!

We've been spending most our lives livin' in a Miners Paradise.
Mine Crokite once or twice, livin' in a Miners Paradise.
We sell ore below cost price, livin' in a Miners Paradise.
But you'd probably think it bites, livin' in a Miners Paradise.

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